Vindicated
by SingingInTheShower
Summary: A LilyxJames story. Rated T just in case. One slight reference to a lemon. Dedicated to T becasue she's the best friend anyone could ever wish for and this is her OTP


Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series or "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional

Hope dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption  
Winding in and winding out  
The shine of it has caught my eye

I still remember the first time I saw you. It was my first day of school, and I was scared as hell. Despite my cool, confident demeanor, my stomach was so knotted up I felt like I was going to throw up. I'd made a few friends on the train (even if that Peter kid seemed a little bit like a suck-up), but what if they weren't in my house? What if they were in Slytyouin? Or worse, what if I was in Slytherin? Oh, bloody hell, I was going to faint.

And roped me in  
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing,  
I am captivated, I am

Then, as I was looking around at all the other kids around me, I saw you. You didn't look scared; not even close. No, you were practically bursting with excitement. Our eyes met, and you must have seen the panic I tried so hard to conceal, because you gave me and encouraging smile. A broad smile that filled your whole face, stretching across your cheeks.

And just like that, you had my permanent attention.

Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along

Since that first look, you've completely taken over my mind. Every thought is consumed by you. I think, even then, I knew, however subconsciously, that you would never be just a passing part of my life. A schoolmate you always knew about but never talked to or kept in touch with after seven years of walking past them in the halls. No, you were never something as simple as that. You were always my everything.

And I am flawed  
but I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now  
the things you swore you saw yourself

You always had that certain knack for seeing the good in everyone. Even Snivelus, despite the fact that he was aligned with those future Death Eaters (though I admit I still don't understand how). Even Mooney, who couldn't' even see the good in himself.

Even me. Even though I was an arrogant toe rag. You saw it, and you waited for me to see it, too. Whatever I did to deserve your kindness, I thank any god in existence for the moment of goodness that allowed me to gain your love and compassion. I certainly can't think of anything I've done to deserve you.

So clear  
Like the diamond in your ring  
Cut to mirror your intention  
Oversized and overwhelmed  
The shine of which has caught my eye

And now, as I gaze down at your arms to the small, blue bundle you hold, I notice the shine of your wedding rings, and the awed smile I've had on my face since I first saw our child grows. And then it grows some more. Our child. Our son. We've already decided Padfoot will be godfather, because Mooney wouldn't trust himself and Wormtail would be too afraid to step up. My best friend, godfather to my son. MY SON. On that fateful first day, I thought I'd faint out of nerves. Now, though there are still nerves, I'm more likely to collapse from happiness.

And rendered me  
So isolated and so motivated  
I am certain now that I am

At this moment, I feel like there's nothing else in this world but the three of us. And I remember how we got here. After I finally realized that being an ass wouldn't get me anywhere. And how I promised myself I would change, and made it my goal to prove to you that I was serious. To make you love me. What surprised me was that I didn't have to try as hard as I thought.

Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

I guess your talent of seeing people for who they really are had already picked up on the sincerity of my actions. If it weren't for your open mind and accepting heart, or if it had been anyone else, I would have been out of luck.

So turn  
up the corners of your lips  
Part them and feel my finger tips  
Trace the moment fall forever

You look up at me and smile. I thought I couldn't have gotten any happier than I was a minute ago, looking down at my wife and newborn son. I was wrong. Seeing you smile up at me like that, with so much love and adoration in her eyes, made me feel like I could burst with joy, leaving me just a pile of pure bliss. I wish I could stay in this moment until the end of time.

Defense is paper thin  
Just one touch and I'll be in  
Too deep now to ever swim against the current

The way your smiling at me reminds me of the night we got engaged. The best night of my life besides this one. You looked stunning that night, in that green dress. It made your eyes even more beautiful, something I hadn't thought possible. And then later, back at my parents' old house…if I'd believed my life was perfect before then, I was sadly mistaken. Who knew that one night could make you feel so complete, so utterly euphoric and at peace with the world?

So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip against the current

In those intense yet oh-so-perfect moments, I wished I could hide away in a world where only the two of us existed. Somewhere we could be together every second of every day until the world ended.

So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away

And now, in this even more perfect of moments, I once again wish I could fall into an alternate universe. A place with just our family and close friends. A place we could all be safe, and my son could grow up free from worry and fear. Just us. Just happiness.

Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

The best part of all this? It's just the beginning. From here on out, it's all new. New experiences, new memories, new mistakes, and new fixes to those mistakes. And I finally feel like I deserve it. I'm finally not afraid to be hopeful. Because I have you, and our son. And as long as we're together, I have nothing to fear, because I'll be whole.

Slight hope  
dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption…

And all will be right with the world…


End file.
